Evanescent dreams......

Work work...

2007-01-05T13:32:00.000+13:00

Ahh... its been a while since i last updated keke... well i would like to blame it on the poor internet connection really... since the Taiwan earthquake my connection has been going on at the speed of a snail. Its pretty annoying although it has improved somewhat lately. That i suppose is in addition to the fact that i am normally very slack anyway... bumming around .

But actually not bumming anymore... every since school started (well secondary school anyway) i have been doing some temporary teaching for the Form 1 and 2 classes. Its not been too bad... although the standard of English of some students is appalling... I guess I just have to take things slowly depending on which class it is. I'm also teaching 2 classes of civic a week. Boy I have to tell you it is one of the most boring/useless classes i have ever seen... Its a lot of deep stuff like self image... potentional.. etc.... like a cross between Malay and Moral... eek...

Although things aren't too bad now... but i think its gonna be harder next week once the students start handing in their homework ! bleh...

back !

2006-11-15T00:42:00.000+13:00

:-) I'm back !... in the steaming heat of Malaysia! waaa.... after 2 days of non-stop airport-ing.. kee.. its nice to be home and get settled in a bit... It seems that some things have changed yet some still remain the same. Home seems the same... just older..but cleaner.. keke.. curtesy of the Indonesian maid we now have. She is pretty useful around the house. My siblings... still as computer obsessed as ever... but they are growing up to be huge! My younger brother is almost as tall as me and my sister is practically my height... and bigger really.. i think i'm moving down the scale... :p

Oh well.. am currently trying to connect to my mIRC server with no real luck! Argh... there goes my anime download... btw.. i have gotten back to watching jap anime since when i was stuck in Kuching airport for 5 hours straight... i just watched like 8 episodes out of sheer boredom.. so now i'm back in the groove.. keke..

Just hoping for cooler days and restful times... i get sleepy at 9++pm... bleh

Things change...

2006-11-05T23:12:00.000+13:00

Yay exams over!! I had my practice OSCE yesterday and thats the end it!! keke... Lately i've been doing random stuff that i dun think i would normally do...

For example.. i actually went to class dinner! keke.... on Wednesday! its a pretty big feat for me since i haven't been to a single med event ever.. :-p... n that was just random...

plus... i actually let myself be face-painted! pretty shocking..... eh.. gave my flatmate such a big fright when i got back keke... oh the joy.. :-p

oh well.. i'll just be a lazy bum now...... bye bye...

...

2006-11-01T00:12:00.001+13:00

Today was a pretty eventful day! First off ... had my practice exam in the afternoon.... was a bit of a waste of study since it was pretty much unexpected stuff and it didn't really matter anyway... keke...

And then celebrated my flatmates belated 23rd b-day! keke... went out to get a cake n out for dinner.... It was pretty random since we managed to get through entire dinner without actually once wishing her happy birthday... n then we went to St Clair.. n after some guilty apologies for 'forgetting'(well pretending that we forgot) we had dessert at a cafe..

The most bizarre thing was that on the way back to the car... my other flatmate who was taking photos.. got a bit left behind n in the rush to catch up with us... her phone slipped out of her pocket and fell into the sea!!!!!!!! (coz we were walking beside the beach and there was a railing with quite a steep drop to where the water level was) oh boy did she freak out.... she actually went down there in the dark ... at high tide to look for the phone.... it was pretty scary.. all dark n we were a bit worried that she would get swept away as she was almost bathed in sea water....
eek....

she didn't manage to find the phone though sadly :-(

We did get home and managed to surprise the birthday girl with cake .. keke.. although it was one costly evening ... for some of us...

And i have to say its the wackiest thing that has ever happened... really... u never think that something like this would really happen in real life would u? not to mention its Halloween today... (plays scary music... )

keke, scary sylvia... >>

Psych?!

2006-10-16T22:26:00.000+13:00

Bah!...... depression is making me depressed... Btw.. m in Invercargill now doing Psychiatry mind you .. and trying to finish this case write up about depression and anxiety and its just annoying me. I just can't get the last bit right and its bugging me... erghhhhhhh...... too many stressors...

Yeah.. so what better way to vent then to make all sorts of stupid complaints on my good ol blog :p.. keke... i hate organic mood disorders...

ok nvm...

thats just my annoyed rambling..

bye bye

back to work...

Shadows

2006-08-20T22:34:00.000+12:00

Fade in,
Fade out,
Look over,
Look under,
Look through,
What do you see?

Look but not see,
Just shadows,
Insignificant,
Invisible,
Lonely,

Shadows in the dark.

Passion and eternity...

2006-07-13T21:39:00.000+12:00

My poor abandoned blog - only comes into use when i'm in a reflective mood. Lately , i have just realised that i have three main passions in life - food, computers and medicine. And to cover it all is God!

I love making food to eat hehe... enjoying recipes.. mmm... baking cakes in particular as of late. And the computer aspect well lots of stuff that u can do with computer, i particularly like graphic design despite my lack of talent at that field :p i like to think that i am more innovative to make for the lack of pure creative instinct. And then there is medicine, that which takes up most of my daylight hours literally, since i start at 7.30am/8am and get back at 5pm/late and by then the sun has set. I enjoy what i do and study is sometimes interesting but i reckon i lack perseverance in that area since after a whole day of medical stuff, who feels like studying it some more? after all there are more things to do with my time - namely stress-free time wasting sort of things :-p which are more enjoyable ...

And then, recently there has been Outreach! Its all getting so exciting and I can feel more in touch with God, somehow i believe this is the way to go. Because we all have our passions and work and stuff we do but at the end of it What is the Point? People are more important than just material things, work and all that stuff. In the end, we should be more worried about eternity! As we believe that eternity is in the hearts of men... so then should we make our effort to make sure that everyone has a chance to hear about God. And in a really practical way, this is where it all falls into place. I believe it will build us up as much as we want to bring others to Christ.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." - Ecclesiastes 3:11

Kayakking...

2006-06-30T02:16:00.000+12:00

Ahh.. holidays are so sweet... have been doing heaps of stuff so far... 3 potlucks, made wontons, dumplings.. hehe lots of cake making :p... sleepover at Josh's place.. n getting acquainted with Cranium.. hmmm... really fun n challenging game! I really hate the singing and acting though... i'm completely hopeless at it...

And the big highlight recently was going kayakking yesterday! Lots of pics in Gallery 3 usual pass:abc It was great fun! Went to like Portobello with like 3 of my med frenz n we kayakked around quarantine island... took us like 1-2 hours i think we were so slow.. :p... n i was soo sore... like not even 1/3 of the way already sore arms and we had lots of breaks in between, not to mention a wet bum n lots of sea salt!

Cakes!!!

2006-06-05T10:57:00.000+12:00

Just coz i feel like eating now... these are some of the cakes i've made this year hehe

Chocolate mud, banana choc chip n sponge. :-p

2006-06-05T10:35:00.000+12:00

"I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect." -Oscar Wilde

2006-05-30T19:07:00.002+12:00

"Untitled"

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

- Simple plan

Aren't i cruel?

2006-05-27T17:48:00.000+12:00

Say there is a story o a begger who would always come to you for food. And for some time perhaps you would feed him and try to care for him since he's being a begger n all that But then.... this starts to happen more n more.. n then you feel that the begger isn't really a begger anymore.... he's not without funds, he's just someone who is to lazy to look for food.....or hasn't quite planned things out properly... n then.. i feel annoyed. Its like a fly hovering around my shoulder just waiting for that offer of free food n then.... i just snap n stubbornly refuse. I don't feel like it... its inconvenient... why should i ? you can do it urself... selfish thoughts plundernig my mind. Maybe if its something i have convenient excess off or something easy.....

so there goes my kind and caring heart obviously its a situational thing..... when i don't feel like it... i can be really cruel.

Happy weekend...

2006-05-14T19:55:00.000+12:00

Ahh... this weekend is the break between my acute med run n my cardiology run... feels so good to be able to rest :p So what have i been doing? hehe.. i think my main achievement perhaps was baking... n eating ... hehe .... i made pumpkin pie, 2 banana choc chip cakes and a choc mud cake.. :-p... n also went out for dinner on Sat evening at Jitsu.... mmmm ... yaki udon... ....

hehe..... obviously not too productive on the study side :p

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.

You said, 'No, we will flee on horses.'
Therefore you will flee!
You said, 'We will ride off on swift horses.'
Therefore your pursuers will be swift!

- Isaiah 30:15-16

A break for the weary...

2006-05-12T23:00:00.000+12:00

Friday, what a wonderful day. In many ways it signifies an end... a break.... to the week of 5 busy days.. n also this friday is the end of my Acute medicine run! Yay... it was hectic it was fun... but i was just too tired... i think my sleep deficits accumulated ... making it more tiring, the further on i got... i'm glad i managed to pass my oral exma today.. although the entire run thing is still to be said....

There's many things i would wish i could do better... but i do what i can with what i have at the time... i'm not 200% person.. more like a 99% +/- 0.1 kinda person... trying to cut it close to what i need to do but not doing much extra... i suppose that kinda counts as lazy?.. hehe :P

Reflections... i feel that sleep has been neglected, i also need more quality time with God. Hoping for some nice rest and maybe more rest the next run? or maybe better time management... after all we tend to blame the system for things that may well be our own doing....

Wash your mouth....

2006-04-30T16:52:00.000+12:00

We had a great G12 meeting on Saturday night, one that refreshed our sprit and brought us back on track. During which, we decided to cut out the use of 'swear words'.... a good and noble cause i would agree. However, we came to this difficulty of differentiating what is considered a swear word and what is not. And to be honest, most of us aren't actually big 'swear-ers' in the first place... i already have really bad connotations with most of the more vulgar and profane aspects of the language.

But then, there is the in between, semi benign words... like 'oh my goodness', 'gosh?', 'crap', 'oh man', 'shoot'... those kinda stuff... n i suppose at first glance... u might say... what? is that even swearing? n i would agree.... it does not sound like swearing... although we argued that they acts as the substitute for bad words and that is whats important.... again reasonable, to a certain extent.... although it just doesn't sit too well with me. From a personal perspective, a lot of these words don't quite impinge on my conscience... hence the ease of saying them... n the other being the context as sometimes u may just use like "oh my goodness thats huge".... or like "shoot, i dropped my pencil!" Since if they are 'replacements' shouldn't they be used in a negative way since most of the original words had bad intentions anyway?

A quick search brings up the definition of profanity:
1. treating with abuse, irreverance, contempt ie desecrate
2. debasing by a wrong, unworthy, vulgar use

other related words to my idea of bad language - offensive, crude, immorality

A verse i found useful was :

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
- Ephesians 4:29

"But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.'"
- Matthew 13:35

These suggest, that we should watch our mouths. Foul language reflects the condition of our heart. Bad language can dishonour God and other people. A conversation riddled with cursing, crude expressions, profanity would ruin any clean and noble ideas. Judgemental statements can hurt peoples' feelings and break down their self esteem. An article from the Daily Bread (dec 7 2002), likens it to noise pollution, which can crowd out God's voice in our life. It creates a corrupt and unholy environment which is not conducive to clean and Godly living. And hence, we should not use bad language.

I may go on and on... without ever deciding the issue.... however, i think to me... it is more of an issue of intention then an issue of words. Unwholesome words reflect an unclean mind. To stay away from words that can create an ungodly environment and mindset. Whatever does not help me with my walk to God, which keeps me from hearing his voice and doing his will... that is what we should stay away from. For some people perhaps this may mean different things, the focus though is always on God. Our aim, to have a conversation "full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer to everyone." Colossians 4:6 That being my debate, the trueness of my claims... perhaps only God can answer. Thus, Lord i pray grant me a conscience, to guide me along Your will.

"Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD;
keep watch over the door of my lips."
- Psalm 141:3

"The Lord says:
"These people come near to me with their mouth
and honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
Their worship of me
is made up only of rules taught by men. "
- Isaiah 29:13

2006-04-27T22:33:00.000+12:00

When i was tired and weary,

you picked me up,

when i felt that i would break,

you held me tight,

when i felt i could go now further,

you stopped to let me rest,

when i wanted to lay in the dust, give up the fight,

i thought of you,

and the sun came out,

and dried my tears,

all battered and bruised,

you took me back,

for without you, i am nought.

New pic update!

2006-04-22T01:09:00.000+12:00

Hehe.. just thought i'd leave a short note to say that camp was great!!! n i've posted all the pics from easter camp, port chalmers trip and iris' b-day! Its in gallery 3 with the usual password:abc :-) Yes! I am back.... hopefully more frequently :p

Resting

2006-03-20T09:01:00.000+12:00

Today is a day off for me.... coz its Otago anniversary day! hehe.... how nice.... i woke up this morning feeling much more peaceful than i have for a long time. I think the previous weeks have taken quite a lot out of me.

Eventhough i have never been a person who likes to tramp around n do sporty stuff.... i have always loved nature... like the apple tree outside my window, trees, grass, flowers.... simple beauty in their imperfections. They reflect a life and dynamic change that u cannot find in any other man made object... the wonder of God's creation!

I passed my geratrics run and also my communiction skills on thursday. It was like relieving a load of my chest. Just hope that the future runs will be easier to cope with. This whole hospital environment is just so alien yet interesting. I love meeting all the different patients and stuff.... coz especially in the elderly... they are wonderful people with heaps of life story. On the other hand, being on the ward is also like being on rough waters. Never sure what will happen, what ur supposed to do , where to go... a lost feeling sometimes and one of not belonging.

Ahh... the duality of many things...
but for now just some peace....

"The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever." - Isaiah 40:8

My poor poor blog...

2006-02-26T22:53:00.000+13:00

Ah... my poor poor blog.. i think it is falling to shambes of disuse :p.. i haven't updated since last month and its now February! Whoa!! hehe.. well i've had a heap of trouble anyway.. since my computer as out of commision sometime in January and was at the repair shop and then.. i came back here and was stuck without internet for like a month or so.. so yeah.. pathetic service if you ask me!....

Church was good... it gives me time to reflect on things... i realise i have been awfully slack over the holidays. Nothing much to show for my what 2 months of blissful rest. I have been working hard out since beginning of Feb though since started classes for 3 weeks already. Its all quite a big leap and i'm not used to it.. n things just go over my head sometimes... It tires me out really.. have to give so much attention and effort... and yet not get much in return...my 150 % only gives a 75% return n going at 100% would give me even less... sigh...Woe to my inability .... but also thank God for being the all through out coz sometimes i just have to stop and ask him to give me the strength to do this coz its so much easier to lie back and do nothing.... the complications of life...

You reap what you sow.... hoping for what you did not sow is a lost cause. Gone are the days of cheerful play and minimal effort.

Updating my life

2006-01-08T18:45:00.000+13:00

A new year has come already! Its 2006, and i can't imagine how fast the time has passed me by. I still have a lot of broken links to take care of. In the New Year, its customary to start off with New Year resolutions or some clean new sheet. And to be honest, i think this year is going to be very different and very challenging. I hope for many changes and yet realistically i'm striving to do none since i'm so slack and relaxed here at home.... :p

My recent joy has been writing and posting online. Yes i know i have mentioned it before, but my mood has taken a recent upward turn since i managed to get 36 reviews as of late! haha!! Not an astounding number but more than amazing for my amateurish work. *big smile & twirls around the room* I'm so glad for the review button.

Friends have left for studies it seem (ie. no more default driver) and its just me and Chute... and Ange is still hiding out in Mukah!!! Waaaaa.... Anyway i'm being annoying... I think i'm just not too pleased since i still have some issues with my student visa and not being able to spend Chinese New Year here since i start school on guess what the 2nd day of CNY !*cries* Why why....And so i've been out to eat and probably will still be eating with grandparents and friends and all hehe to drown out the blues in waves of fatty consolation... :p

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. ²Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."

Colossians 3:1-3

After Christmas

2005-12-30T04:45:00.000+13:00

Christmas has come and past. How quickly the season has gone by. I don't remember much of it as somehow this year, the celebrations were not as impressionable. Although i suppose if there is something i remember, its that i have a bad memory. Somewhat paradoxical i suppose, but the moments when i have forgotten stuff n people in particular tend to be the more memorable times since they were pretty embarassing moments.

As it is, i'm just passing my days, been writing my story and i've to say i'm pleasantly happy with the reviews i'm getting. Ahhh.... the joys of electronic feedback. Somewhere along the line.. i'm still knittingi my scarf... Went to watch The Promise tonight. It's a chinese fantasy movie sort of. Totally amazing special effects, rather unbelievable but totally crazy and yet so very cool. And yes i pretty much liked it, after all far fetched fantasy has always been my favourite. I did watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire... and i think it was not bad. Although i suppose having read the books made the whole thing all that much more predictable :P I spent a lot of time just naming the characters and explaining the rather complicated plot to my siblings. Hope my new year will turn up with some much better resolutions and ways to spend the day. I'm way too unproductive as it is :p

2005-12-21T14:55:00.000+13:00

Time just seems to creep by so quickly when ur enjoying urself! I got back from my KL trip last Thursday. It was quite good, although KL is probably hotter than Sibu in my opinion coz of all that smog and tall buildings.. argh!! But the shopping was great. I think we didn't do much other than shop actually, coz i kinda got sick on the last 2 days so we didn't go up to Genting Highlands :(. I blame it on the 'yong tau fu' That stuff is not fresh man! even if from a foodcourt in the mall, what to say the street side stalls. Man, at least Sibu doesn't have roadside stalls, cause they are banned by the way. All the stalls have to be within a shoplot.

Well, i suppose KL turned out to be a jumble of eating and shopping. Managed to try most of the foods i was interested in like: claypot, sizzling noodle, yee mee, teppanyaki, sushi, yong tau fu, chi cheong fun, penang kueh teow, roti canai.... :p hehe... but i realise its pretty expensive eating there compared to here and the stuff they sell isn't much cheaper really. I think Sibu's still reasonably balanced on price, availability and conenience... since its so close :)

Anyways, i've been pretty lazy since then.. i suppose, although i did manage to make some balloon animals! Yes, you heard me right.. its when u blow up those long balloons and make a dog and giraffe and all that stuff out of them. Pretty cool, i say... although i guess it'd probably be a not too pleasant experience for those who dislike balloons! heh..... i can think of some good uses of those skills now... ehehehe...

Watched King Kong the other day, it wasn't too bad... although the tickets were more expensive like what, coz the movie was 3 hours long!! What kinda excuse is that? Ok i know it sounds reasonable in some way but i never heard them do it for anything else so yeah! The shows full of disgusting and gross gigantic creep crawlies though! Even my little bro was freaked out by the people eating slugs :p... but i suppose if you ignore that the picture quality and effects is all pretty good ! I'm hoping to watch the 4th HP installment soon.

Mmmm... n baked a chocolate brownie for my little bro's birthday yesterday. Although it ended up being real hard though especially after going in the fridge! I think these cakes are way too heavy... i felt a severe chocolate overload... :p... I think it tastes better in NZ.

Writing the days away...

2005-12-03T12:57:00.000+13:00

Wow its December already! Time really flies -- not sure if that is a good thing though... since i do want my holidays to last rather than just fly by. As usual haven't been doing much useful stuff really. Although I somehow decided maybe i should write like a random story or something and post it online. Its always a curiousity to see how many people actually read those kind of stuff :p. My writing skills are probably only mediocore at best but i suppose... i was actually that bored to actually think of something like that?

2005-11-25T17:06:00.000+13:00

"Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing." – John Andrew Holmes

2005-11-22T02:18:00.000+13:00

Hello... just a pic of me at Auckland airport! Its quite nicely decorated now that its almost Christmas. All that lovely Christmas bells and tinsel and all :p I guess i was bored... and it was a pretty long trip although i thin it wasn't so bad this time. Sibu is hot hot... but its nice to be back. Home cooked food... family and all the familiar things ... interestingly not much has changed really... things still look the same... only small changes like my parents installing air-cons (yay!!!) n the changing of parking tickets from the ones u punch holes in to ones that u scrape off the silver stuff. It kinda helps to prevent cheating i suppose since u can't cover up the number after u've scraped off the silver stuff unlike the holes which u can patch back up :p

I suppose life's just moving along ... i went to the market the other day and yep.. still same old - busy, full of food.. hehe my favourite... i just like to poke around and look at all the different food on sale... yummm...

its nice to be back ~contented sigh~

Home

2005-11-17T00:37:00.000+13:00

I'm officially home! yeah.... all that travelling finally paid off.. i just got back this morning and had a nice long nap in the afternoon. Its good to be home! Although it is sooo hot........ feels like an oven... not to mention its pretty noisy and rowdy since my little brother is on holiday!!!

It was a pretty hectic journey n all but i thank God that i'm back safe and sound :)

2005-11-09T20:41:00.000+13:00

This is just a random post.. i'm sick of studying... I have one last exam on Friday and then i'm free!!!!!!!! i can't wait .. i've been revising and re-revising stuff these few days... exam on monday n then today.. i feel so exhausted... four hours is so long... in the end i just want to pass...

My life is so boring.. since its mainly sleep wake up study play computer study eat play computer study play computer sleep? hehehe... ok thats fairly repetitive but i suppose u get what i mean? I can't wait for those wonderful days when i'm free, just lazing around, doing nothing useful.. ... ahhhh....

2005-10-31T23:02:00.000+13:00

Arghh.. i'm so annoyed... blasted idiots in a car!!!! i was walking back from library around 11pm tonite... just minding my own business and all that... n suddenly someone chucked something out of the car... i didn't realised what it was at first... but then it hit me hard on my foot... n smashed to pieces.. man i freaked out n thought it was glass... n it hurt!! Stupid idiots @#$@##%! pity i didn't see them since they went by so fast... i didn't even realised what happened.. but after looking back i realised it was egg!!!! Argghhhh... that smashed on my nice pants... which now stinks of egg... fortunately i have long pants though so it didn't actually get on my foot... but still.......... i am so NOT happy....

The consequence of impending exams...

2005-10-29T10:07:00.000+13:00

Mood: just woke up.... blur but aware at the same time

Exams are coming up and its really been affecting my brain!!! I think i wake up early coz i think i have to study... but then.. i'm 1/2 asleep and annoyed. When i get to studying i get too engrossed that if you talk to me in the next few minutes i'll spout random drug names like risperidone, omeperazole or clonidine without knowing what they do. When i see "dia..." i think diabetes! ... when i see OC... i think oral contraceptives... if i see another ALP, ALT,GGT ... i will think liver enzymes... so you see exams is really messing with my head!! Ok ... maybe i'd better stop. Talking to oneself is the first sign of madness after all.

2005-10-28T08:58:00.000+13:00

Hehe this is hte first slip i got at med library! Just thought i'd commemorate this event even if my stuff didn't actually get confiscated. I think the little man looks very cute ne?

Exam blues...

2005-10-23T21:35:00.000+13:00

Mood: Grumpy, tired... bleh

This is what exams does to a person. Everyday is consumed by thoughts of studying and yet my mind rebels at the action of it. Add in much annoyance, slow progress and the occasional naps... i'm really not the perkiest student around.

Just a thought on God's blessings...
"So I gave you a land on which you did not toil and cities you did not build; and you live in them and eat from vineyards and olive groves that you did not plant." - Joshua 24:13

Can we say we deserve everything we get? Thus be grateful and use well what we have been given.

2005-10-19T23:46:00.000+13:00

"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."
- 2 Corinthians 7:10

Flour,little white balls and wacky flatmates

2005-10-18T23:40:00.000+13:00

Another day , another set of interesting events! Today's officially my flatmate's birthday! And guess what the other 4 scheming flatmates did :p We woke her up around 7am on the excuse that we'd made her breakfast and then when she came around the corner....... ...... haha we chucked floor and polystyrene balls at her! Man! That was hilarious ... it was right at the moment when she said "I feel like i'm dreaming" ... n 'bam' wemt the flour and all ... i think she was in a bit of a shock for a while but then starting chasing us with this evil glint in her eyes! quite scary i have to say .. the four of us barricaded ourselves in the living room for fear of our lives. Our roles were as such: Jane - flour, Iris - balls, Ruth-camera, me- knock on door and lure her out :P Yep, that was surely a very early start to the day!!! not to mention a totally wacky one... better watch out for a revengeful flatmate in the future :p

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival."
- C. S. Lewis

Happy day!

2005-10-17T16:38:00.000+13:00

:) Yay! my anatomy rat race is over and it wasn't as hard as i was worried it might be. I know i shouldn't really be celebrating since my finals are far from over and i'm nowhere near being prepared but hey, it was a good day! I actually won a CD and DVD from Hoyts coz i joined one of their competitions ages back. I don't really remember what it was since i joined heaps just for the fun of it. Imagine the surprise i had at seeing a parcel with my name on it in the living room at like 9am this morning? hehe (coz the couriers come around 8am)

In appreciation

2005-10-15T22:25:00.000+13:00

Thank you Lord, for light blue skies,
for fresh green leaves and rain that cleanses,

for life itself, to love, to breath, to feel,
to laugh, to cry, to smile, to sing,

for friends that accept you, that make you smile and tease,
who are willing to know you, to care,

for family and people around,
who make a difference just by being there,

for Your saving grace o' Lord,
to someone not worthy, imperfect and unwhole,

and for taking the dirty and making it clean again,
to look at what the world did not see,

and to make the speck of dust into a gem.

Transient...

2005-10-15T13:21:00.000+13:00

"...What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." James 4:14

Beautiful blue skies!

2005-10-14T18:29:00.000+13:00

Today is a lovely day! It seems that in between these cold rainy days are interleaved with bout sunshine and blue skies! My little weather icon is telling me its 17 degrees with a picture of lightning and rain ! hehe... i suppose its not that accurate...

Had a pharmacology lab today.. n we were looking at prescriptions and mistakes in them.. and it seems that mistakes in prescription are even made when misreading doctor's handwriting! which i have to admit i had trouble making out drug names as well....and did a little glucose monitoring finger prick too.. was around 4.3... which was pretty low i suppose considering i wasn't fasting.. but yeah... who knows... the range is around 4.1 to 6 mmol/l i think.. hehe well its good that i don't have to worry that i'll have diabetes or even impaired glucose tolerance -- metabolic syndrome...

2005-10-13T17:02:00.000+13:00

Just a wee note.. i've managed to put up some camp pics.. so they're in gallery 3 pass abc as usual.

<<< I saw this at Lake Waihola! Thought it was pretty cool since i can't imagine having a playground in the middle of the lake...

Of swings and daffodils... rain and cloud

2005-10-13T16:21:00.000+13:00

What is the world coming to? Hehe i think thats a pretty cliche question but i wonder... coz there's so many things going on nowadays... there's heaps of natural diasasters for one thing ... there was the tsunami and then hurricane.... n even london bombings and now there's an earthquake in Kashmir... so many lives lost... n yet everyday as i wander to n fro from classes and all i feel safe in this world i live in. I see parents picking their children up from the daycare at the hospital... i see little kids jumping up n down on the swings and the sandpit... father's who are like 6 ft tall with little toddlers wich are like only as tall as their leg... its so sweet... so calm ... my biggest worries are exams... n how to get through classes and all that n yet they dull in comparision to so many other things that are going on. I feel so selfish at times coz they are heaps more ppl in pain out there ... n yet all i think about mostly is my next meal.. my next class .. my next test? My world sure has shrunk a lot.

I think it's the weather too.. when its gloomy and rainy like this i reflect on many things... it would probably do me good to move to a sunnier climate... :p

"All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.

The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the LORD blows on them. Surely the people are grass.

The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."

- Isaiah 40:6-8

Doodling my thoughts...

2005-10-04T18:32:00.000+13:00

Just a note i've posted up the pics from Ruth's b-day on gallery 3 ..same password.. abc.. :)

Another day has past... i think time is moving so quickly... Someone mentioned lately, that "you have to be a good follower" / "menjadi pengikut yang baik" n i thought, well that depends who i'm following really. What if i don't really want to follow the leader coz i don't really want to even be part of this really. Hmm.. n Sunday we did some stuff about being a good leader which i thought was quite good. A leader that commands people to follow just based on their position alone is not going to last. Its also about taking care of your followers and developing relationships with everyone so that when they follow its out of willingness and not just some weird obligation or a commonly used word in Malaysia for unpopular events os by making them "wajib" ie "compulsory"!!

Exam blues...

2005-10-01T20:47:00.002+12:00

Mood: Grumpy, tired... bleh

This is what exams does to a person. Everyday is consumed by thoughts of studying and yet my mind rebels at the action of it. Add in much annoyance, slow progress and the occasional naps... i'm really not the perkiest student around.

Just a thought on God's blessings...
"So I gave you a land on which you did not toil and cities you did not build; and you live in them and eat from vineyards and olive groves that you did not plant." - Joshua 24:13
Can we say we deserve everything we get? Thus be grateful and use well what we have been given.

2005-10-01T20:47:00.001+12:00

Mood: Grumpy, tired... bleh

This is what exams does to a person. Everyday is consumed by thoughts of studying and yet my mind rebels at the action of it. Add in much annoyance, slow progress and the occasional naps... i'm really not the perkiest student around.

Just a thought on God's blessings...
"So I gave you a land on which you did not toil and cities you did not build; and you live in them and eat from vineyards and olive groves that you did not plant." - Joshua 24:13
Can we say we deserve everything we get? Thus be grateful and use well what we have been given.

2005-10-01T20:47:00.000+12:00

Mood: grumpy, tired.... bleh...

I think this is what exams does to a person. I just feel so annoyed, everyday is like study study study.. but then my mind rebels and says no! No! don't study... mix in some guilt, annoyance and too many naps n yeah... not the perkiest exam student around.

Just a thought about God's blessings...
"So I gave you a land on which you did not toil and cities you did not build; and you live in them and eat from vineyards and olive groves that you did not plant." Can we say we deserve the things we get ? Thus, be grateful and do the best with what we have been given.

2005-10-01T10:40:00.000+12:00

Hello! Its the day after Ruth's (aka my flatmate's) big 21st bash!! Wahh...it was fun... although quite tiring esp yesterday! I had the day off for once. Woke up late coz i spent the night be4 recording last minute b-day messages.. :p n then went shopping in the afternoon ... helped baked the cake ... cooked hte rice... chicken... touched up the power point n finished the last of the speech recordings! All within the nick of time. Not to mention actually went to the pary a wee bit late :p like maybe 30mins? hehe... but i'm sure R didn't mind .. hehe.. Me n Ange were doing games!! Only played 2 of our 3. One of them was chinese whispers with a wacky sentence courtesy of Alastair. Even i can't really remember it ... sthg like , " As i was walking down the street, it started to rain and i took out my Ruth-tastic umbrella and out popped a Ruth idol that sang "Happy 21st birthday Ruth!"... well thats my rendition of it anyway.. any prizes for me ? :p Got back pretty late n all last night.. n then did our late night pic taking and eat back at the flat hehe since we ended up with quite a lot of food n an intact cake !! hehe.... oh yeah... yum yum yum....

Cancer!

2005-09-27T16:53:00.000+12:00

Have been doing a lot of stuff on cancer lately! n yes... cancer did originate from "crab" interestingly enough.. so i suppose its the same one as the horoscope cancer :p it seems kinda like a very generalised and "scary" term since anything cancer has to be very bad... like a taboo word among patients somehow :P and we gotta like differentiate a growth from a cancer since not all tumors are cancerous... only the malignant ones ...

hehe.. oh well... most common cancers in order are :

Lung
Breast
Colorectal
Prostate
Pancreas !?

Melancholy...

2005-09-25T15:01:00.000+12:00

True Light
a sad light shone
turning into wings that cut the white darkness
shone upon by the cold sun
I had some limited freedom
the miraculous night cast by the mirror
started to remove my mask, my soul
on the other side of the collapsing wall
despair and hope looks the same
if there's a heart that's yet to be seen
lets head to the end of the prologue
the fake light is disappearing
the true light is born
in these hands...
the fake light is disappearing
the true light is born
in these hands...
pierce through the night dyed in white
keep on creating a new era
create time with your heart
fly through the eternal white night

--- english translation
D.N.Angel

Phobia...

2005-09-21T22:09:00.000+12:00

Phew i feel tired somehow... so much to do ... not enough time and yet... sometimes i just procrastinate... I also realise that sometimes i'm just a huge coward. For some reason... or maybe putting it nicely i have strong self preservation skills. I'm unlikely to step out of my nice comfy cycle if it is going to cause me any distress beyond my normal "homeostatic" abilites :p

Did venupuncture practice yesterday which is like practicing drawing blood from people. And i gotta say that i was pretty traumatized somehow... to my embarassment.. sigh... i didn't feel too good after my fren failed to draw blood on two tries n i think i turned a bit pale... somehow i would attribute that more to psychology then anything coz there wasn't any bleeding at all.. n come to think of it i do get very freaked out over any blood taking thingy .. sigh.. how pitiful... to have so many "phobias" ... sound like a chicken... :p

Juggling pins...

2005-09-15T22:24:00.000+12:00

Whoa! My first week back from holiday and its almost all gone!! And i feel sooo.. tired .. i think i'm seriously getting lazy from the holidays.... the lectures feel like they are too long... hehe and many things happened this week really.. i'm gonna stay in Dunedin for next year... need to find a flat... found a flat ... need to contemplate flatmates and place to stay and all those things plus keeping up with work, studies and sleep... man i really wanna sleep in sometime... :p

Life somehow seems like a complex juggling of many things trying to find the balance without having to drop any of them ... and also teetering at the edge of falling off and staying on? Although sometimes i think everything comes crashing down and it seems hopeless but then somehow God puts them back together as quickly as he has made them all fall apart? Makes me realise how much it means to depend on God really... coz without the "thorn" in my side i think i'd go overboard although with too much trouble i think i'd fall apart.. so isn't it one very intricate balancing act? It's altogether unpredictable i'd say so why stress too much? :)

"God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging. "

Psalm 46:1-3

2005-09-09T19:42:00.000+12:00

Christchurch BTN...bunch of us hanging around in the garden of our hotel..

Bus bus bus around....

2005-09-09T19:23:00.000+12:00

Today me n Ruth went all the way to Pak n Save and Warehouse in South Dunedin! Of course we didn't actually walk the like 1 hour day.. we just decided to be smarter and use public transportation :p it turned out that it wasn't all that hard to catch a bus there anyway... even though initially we just went to the bus stop and like hung around coz we couldn't figure out which one to take ! and we also paid a visit to Angela where she was working :p Altogether quite fun.... spent some time wondering around and all and bought quite a bit of stuff from pak n save.. Can't miss the chance to go shopping a bit.

I'm still getting over my haircut.. sigh.. assuming that not too many ppl read this blog and the ones that are reading it alreaddy know :p so yeah.. i think i got it cut tooooooo short........ i got a variety of kinda weird comments... like i look like a schoolgirl or i just came from m'sia? hmmm... i donno if i actually wanna look that young..... ..... i was sorta gonna go for the more mature, slick, evil look :p hehehe....

oh well.... thats life...... not too exciting not too dull...

Searching, waiting... slacking...

2005-09-07T10:07:00.000+12:00

I think my blog is getting a bit desolate :p... got back on Saturday but haven't really been feeling up to update coz i think all that negative energy should be channelled elsewhere or else i'm gonna be sounding very bitter and annoyed....

My holidays is still on unlike maybe quite a lot of people but its getting back into a routine thats hard... been kinda doing a mix of slacking off and thinking about studying... might i emphasize the word "thinking" not "doing".... argh!!!

"The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail."
Isaiah 58:11

Start of holidays!

2005-08-27T23:17:00.000+12:00

How nice.. its finally the start of the midterm break..... and yet.. i feel tired... hmmm the week must have worn me out.. i guess coz i had quite a lot of bad news and am still not very settled with where i'm going next year. Its confusing and sometimes i do wonder if God is staying away from me for this time... sigh ...

'When I was young i had dreams, of the prince and princess and happily ever afters, when hope was of a future of sunshine and flowers. As I grew older the dreams became maybes and reality set in. The dreams became just a myth of days long past. The harsh realities were learnt through failures, mistakes and the simple cruelty of life. And then the hopes became just dreams, of a time that would not come to pass. A refuge in the innermost self when the evils became too much. Survival was for the adaptable and that little part where you once thought all was perfect and beautiful was lost to the tides of practicality and reality.'

What a blast!!!

2005-08-19T23:15:00.000+12:00

Wow... i'm blown away.. i went to the sharing by a guy who like basically died.. went to see heaven, hell n God n was risen again! It was just amazing! The detail and all and what more he related it to the Bible quite specifically... Its just awesome how God can be so amazing!!! Even though he wasn't a Christian he was guided by God to accept Christ like just before he actually died... it was just totally so supernatural and yet real! God is real!

"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' " Luke 16:31

Rest...

2005-08-18T20:53:00.000+12:00

Waaahh... relief.. so glad that my "rat race" ie anatomy test is over :p.. now i can at least take a deep breath and relax.. the week has been way too hectic for my liking and i've done none of my many computer tests yet. I know i'll have to pay the price of that next week ...

oh well.. did i mention we have caught 5 mice now so far.. hehe .. but none today...either there's no more or the idea of just a raisin with no nutella coating is not very attractive to the average mouse oh well... i think i'll just type less and rest more... :p

Rest........ ahhhhh.........

2005-08-16T17:47:00.000+12:00

Ooh.. hehe mouse update.. we've caught 4 mice so far!!! Don't think thats supposed to be a good thing..... but hope we don't get anymore or maybe they'll just go away and leave us alone. I guess i won't post up the pics then..... hehe since it is pretty gruesome.. hmmm.. but i took pics of all 4 of them.. i'll have to figure out where to put them...

Sigh today has been a very tiring day.. i don't feel like doing anything.. i'm just glad my communication skills interview was over... n i've handed in the tape and book.. hopefully i don't have to do it anymore...

I want to take a nap!!! :( but i still have work....

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" Matthew 11:28

Pest control!

2005-08-13T22:00:00.000+12:00

Our flat has a problem with mice... or to be more specific one mouse... that has been scurrying around in the cupboards leaving poop!!! ... eeww.... n today a friend lent us a rat trap which was set up n we managed to catch the mouse!! It was so gross.. eewwww... the poor little (kinda cute) brown mouse was caught under the trap ... with big black eyes still open.. so freaky.. i think ruth is severely traumatised coz she was there when it actually happened...!! Poor little mouse.. although can't say i'm not happy its gone!

Oh well weekend... next week is gonna be busy .. not looking forward to it... not really in a mood to study too but i know i got to arghhhh! its so annoying... hmmm.. should i post that pic of the mouse? its very disturbing.. i have to say....

Overdue b-day post!

2005-08-11T18:18:00.000+12:00

Hehe i know this post is long overdue.. i just have been really busy with all the work n stuff n today i finally have more time on my hands!! I just feel so blessed to have such great friends! My b-day was on Tuesday n can u believe what angela did ? she threw cream at me!!! EEEEeeeeew... not sthg i particularly enjoyed but i have to congratulate them on their dedication and reasonable success even if the aim was oh so a bit off :p ...The plan was.. i think that she would come to my place early.. whereby 2 of my naughty flatmates let her in at 5am nonetheless .. n set stuff up.. n so i got a miss call at 6.45 am ? eventhough angela said she'd come over at 7.10am.. no. 1 suspicious factor :p.. no. 2 was that when i opened the door eventually.. (coz i didn't really wanna wake up, was trying to ignore the call) there was like all these paper taped across my door? which i think i was supposed to walk through but i'm blur but not totally stupid :p so yeah.. i just kinda ripped the edges off... nicely :p hehe n got through... no. 3 suspicious factor was that the light in the hallway was on ... at 6 sthg in the morning? quite unlikely.. hehe and the no.4 factor.. which was quite a tell-tell sign.. was that Ruth was hiding under the window next to the door leading to the kitchen... i peeked in and saw her straight away :p.. (in red pajamas too!) hehe.. but stil i opened the door.. carefully.. stuck my hand in to on the light.. but then.... see this is where i got ambushed... !! And splat this icky mess of white cream.... ok .. that was totally expected i suppose .. hehe n a whole bunch of white polystyrene balls which totally stuck everywhere !! Argh!! hehe took a shower n got treated to a nice breakfast after! (did i mention that the bathroom mirror was done up with Lipstick!! which took some effort to get off !!!)

:) It's nice to have someone care enough to do something like that i suppose... (looking on the bright side! ) and also really grateful to all my friends n flatmates who managed the dinner thingy on Saturday! Was really nice... very yummy double choc mocha cake :p n the candles n lovely Blue n White balloons in the flat were a lovely surprise ! :) So really big THANK YOU to all !! gives me that warm fuzzy feeling inside :P

2005-08-06T10:14:00.000+12:00

Yay...! The pic from Angela's ball last week.. nic deco aye? Hehe... well thats me n my flatties n our honourary flattie :p.. The theme was pink... (my skirt is pink right?)

Eternity...

2005-08-06T09:56:00.000+12:00

Hmmm.. i've just been trying to post a pic from angela's b-day party from last week but its not going up!! arghhhh.. hehe....

anyway have been going through Purpose Driven Life n i find it very good. Its really giving me a perspective on eternity. I kinda realise that this life is not forever, its temporary and God has promised so much more to come. So what am I to do? This life is full of challenges and how we face it will affect how we spend eternity! To be faithful in what little we have now and we will be able to be faithful with bigger things when we are entrusted with them in hte future. Its hard in a sense coz its just so abstract. I can't see the end of the line.. i can't see what's gonna happen in the future and its just so easy to fall back and live life for my own gain.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen itemporary but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18

It's really like a struggle all the way.. n sometimes you're up sometimes you're down.. so confusing... But i suppose God never promised life would be easy. But He did promise us the strength to carry on.

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." 2 Peter 1:3

To live a life that brings glory to God... He has given us all that we are n i believe true fullfillment, joy, peace, rest... is through Him only.

"Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13-14

Times past...

2005-08-04T23:04:00.000+12:00

I'm devastated!! I just finished reading Harry Potter Book 6 like after a 2 day marathon or so.. since i'm more free these few days... ... ... ... the front was pretty mundane .. just describing the normal stuff.. but man.. the ending.... was soooo sad... n very inconclusive... its a pity i already got quite a bit of spoilers from other ppl but still...well now that i've finished that can get it out of my system for a while.. its been annoying not being able to finish the book when i have had it for a while already :p ...

I guess just reminiscing..friends are really special people... aside from family... And yet sometimes the greatest joy is not what a person can give you but what joy you can give them. Somehow its more fulfilling that way.. hehe.. although it may be a bit self righteous n all i suppose... ~~~~~~~~ ok i'm babbling...

New week...

2005-08-01T19:13:00.000+12:00

wOW time sure flies.. its monday already!! n i haven't updated for an age it seems ;P.. was really busy last week with classes n stuff n angela's b-day party on Saturday!! Eventhough it didn't go exactly according to our "wonderful" plan.. i think it still worked out pretty well ! At least we accomplished on of our missions on that night.. hehehe... Got back real late on Sat night.. man was i tired.. amazing that i still managed to get up for school of leaders on sat with some txt msging from Josh.. can't imagine how anyone can naturally wake up early !

Ooh n yesterday we "nearly" managed to cream angela!! Unfortunately she tilted her head back at the last moment!!! Arghhh.. should have applied more force..!!!! hmph!!!! no fair..but i guess she still willingly creamed herself for us after that :p.. hehe .!!! I can't wait to see those pics :p

n yeah.. today is monday... busy day.. again!! 8am start really does not help my mood n enthusiasm first thing in the week oh well.....

Stressful days...

2005-07-21T19:00:00.000+12:00

Man .. my week has just been so busy! Arghhhhh ... starting with Monday i was really nervous about my communication skills filmed interview that afternoon and after the interview i didn't feel any better knowing that i kinda screwed up the whole thing!!! Awkard long silences and messed up questions... sigh.. then 8am lectures on tuesday.. lab preparations...and had my elective that afternoon.. some stuff about how europeans went to india and found the climate awfully hard to live in? did my computer test n failed... which wouldn't have been too bad added on to the fact that i found out that i was balloted out !And now i really don't know what to do? Should i move? Amidst the chaos in my head that night i spent a good two hours at library just transcribing my stupid interview.. which i had to present on wednesday. And all through the process berating myself on how i could have said all that silly stuff and made all those embarassing mistakes!!!!!! Interview presentation on wednesday... another stressful event and another shot at computer test which i thankfully passed.

So yeah.. the days have not been particularly peaceful... i did enjoy the anatomy labs today and on tuesday though.. we were doing some dissection on the neck area.. Today we actually literally sawed the neck off (think "pancung kepala") as well as the head in half in the sagittal plane just so that we could take a look at the structures in the larynx and pharynx. It was good to look at but the sawing was just horrible!! So gruesome... Glad that we don't do that to live patients.. :p

Rest for the weary...

2005-07-16T23:35:00.000+12:00

Yay end of 1st week or maybe no-yay.. since it marks one week closer to my finals :p I was kinda worn out i supposed n slept in till "late" which is really amazing coz i dun usually sleep till that close to noon :o ! Today harry potter book 6 came out around 11am i think n yeah about 2hours or so later i was out in town to procure this very interesting albeit "children's" book hehe which with Angela turned out to be a pretty long shopping excursion as we just have the incredible way of being sidetracked all the time!!

Went to the last night of the Getsmart conference thingy tonight n it was great! Talked quite a bit about influence. And i guess its true we may not think that we r doing significant harm or benefit but sometimes little things count and as a whole we r almost undefeatable ! :) What also hit me was the fact that we spend so little time with GOd each day and so much time for ourselves yet always like to expect so much! Boy, i'm really selfish! I have to say there's a long way to go! But small steps...big distances hehe :) n hey its better to be brainwashed to do good than to do evil!

"I am laid low in dust;
preserve my life according to your word.
I have recounted my ways and you have answered me;
teach me your decrees.
Let me understand the teaching of your precepts;
then i will meditate on your wonders.
My soul is weary with sorrow;
strengthen me according to your word."

Psalm 119:25-28

W3dne$d@y~~~~

2005-07-13T13:36:00.000+12:00

Hmm 2 1/2 days into lectures already.. i have to say i'm a bit bored... lectures do have a tendency to drive u off to sleep especially if u have to wake up at 7am almost every single day! I can't help but complain a bit :p I had my elective yesterday which was something called European Encoutners in new worlds n old .. its a history elective which i kinda chose coz i thought it might be "interesting" but i guess i should have known better. At the moment i don't really find it particularyly stimulating and it kinda went against my expectations of history like i thought maybe some cultural revolution or sthg but instead its focussed mainly on NZ n esp on healtha issues... sigh..we have to write these 250-300word blurbs just to show our progress or sthg for each "seminar" hehe sounds posh.. n on the spur of the moment i wrote mine at 12am last night.. hehe coz it thought might as well get it over with as i might actually forget the content in a while.. :p

Just to give a brief idea of what i thought it was about, this is an excerpt from my blurb thingy which i think as i wrote it in a semi-conscious state is a bit incoherent .. ;p n i don't really know what my opinion is...

" There was also quite a prevalent belief on the impact of environment as a cause and also cure to disease. There was the idea of miasma – polluted air in areas like swamps, industrial areas and poorer quality environments as the cause of disease like malaria and diptheria. In contrast nature was also advocated as a cure where people went to the seaside, countryside, spas and planted trees in a belief that this aided in health. This is comparable to the practice of alternative medicine in the modern society. The theories are not proven but more based on observations due to the lack of knowledge at the time. Although, the benefits of a good environment may be considered, the idea of miasma seems harder to justify. Miasma is in a way related to the hygiene issues at the time as the need for proper sanitation and clean water was recognized. In modern day, this may translate into the relationship between poor socioeconomic status and health."

hehe ok la... i think i'm unneccessarily lengthening this post.. hehe. oh n about my decision thing i kinda just chose n submitted my choice already yesterday. So now its just up to God where i will end up next year! Just hope for the best n that i won't get balloted out into going to Wellington!

Heralding the end of holidays...

2005-07-09T22:53:00.000+12:00

Today's saturday.. n yes i know i have not been partigularly vigilant in updating my blog, but then the week hasn't been that interesting either :p The week was speckled with bouts of shopping, hanging out with some friends, n quite a bit of movie watching with angela.. hehe interestingly enough... Oh n yeah the pipe in our hallway leaked during the big hailstorm yesterday... pretty shocking really just suddenly heard this really loud pouring of water n lo n behold there's a waterfall outside my door... :p

Hehe.. n today when i was going to look for a fren i accidently knocked on the door of her neighbour.. man that was embarassing! Fortunately i do know her neighbour although i realise now the dangers of having a row of identical flats next to each other... hmmmm

Well i guess thats the day... Other than that i'm still in a dilemma about a certain decision to make.. argh CONFUSION... oh welll... :S

2005-07-07T11:14:00.000+12:00

"Show me your ways, O Lord teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me for you are God my Savior And my hope is in you all day long"

Psalm 25:4-5

2005-07-03T18:19:00.000+12:00

Phew.... (wipes sweat of forehead) that took a long time to put up n resize the pics from the road trip! n yeah.. i didn't really put all but anyway.. u'll get the story... its on a new gallery which is Gallery 3 on the right side bar, pass = abc as usual.. hehe..

n yeah below is a map of our route ... hehe so all those names won't sound so alien! We started from dunedin - caitlins - invercargill - bluff - kingston - queenstown - arrowtown - wanaka - dunedin .. i kinda vandalised one of the maps (hope Jane doesn't mind :p, but then.. the trips over anyway)

Other than that the day has been quite nice! really nice weather for a change.. still pretty boring n all but i guess just trying to treasure the peaceful moments i have before the pace starts to pick up again. Thank God for great friends n flatmates ! To keep up the good cheer n make life just that bit more fun. :)

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my savior."

Habakkuk 3:17-18

2005-06-30T22:33:00.000+12:00

All 5 of us gals next to the duckpond in the Gardens in Invercargill! Girl Power yeah!

2005-06-30T22:31:00.000+12:00

Hehe ... here's me again trying to strangle the tuatara outside the museum/art gallery/info centre in Invercargill.. yes the museum is the white thing at the back that looks kinda like a pyramid :p

2005-06-30T22:22:00.000+12:00

This is me at Bluff!! supposedly the southernmost tip of the South island...With all the signs pointing out the distance to the different places in km!

2005-06-30T22:18:00.000+12:00

Here's another one of our stops with Ruth n me at Purakaunui waterfalls ! Just somewhere around Caitlins before reaching Invercargill.

2005-06-30T22:07:00.000+12:00

Hello...! Yes i'm back from my roadtrip to a few places around south island... Just got back last night so yeah.. its taking me a while to get my pics and all sorted out. It has been a great trip and i'm really thankful to my flatmate for driving us around ! coz non of the rest of us can drive lor! :) Anyway, this lovely pic was taken at Nugget Point on Day 1 somewhere at the south part of south island as we were touring past Caitlins! Lovely view isn't it? And there is also a lighthouse behind me although u can't see it in this pic.

2005-06-26T21:59:00.000+12:00

Just a wee mention that i've posted up the pics from my trip to Ashburton n the potluck last monday in gallery 2 ! Pass=abc as usual :) Will be off to invercargill and Caitlins tomorrow if all goes well n then to Queenstown and will probably be back late Wednesday so the blog will be lonely for a few more days :p

2005-06-26T16:34:00.000+12:00

2005-06-26T16:33:00.000+12:00

Hello! i'm back from Ashburton! It was a great n fun trip even if a bit tiring.. hehe.. anyway the pic is with me at the lord of the ring's site!!! Yes! Behind me is Sundae Island it was the place where the kingdom of Rohan... place where the castle of Edoras was in The Two Towers!! If u don't believe me compare with the other pic i've put up for ref.. :P

1st day of real holiday!

2005-06-18T23:25:00.000+12:00

Yes! Its the first day of my real holiday.. i guess i'm kinda brimming with excitement while filling kinda dull n blunt at the same time. Since my exams were over like 4 days ago.. its not really that exhilarating anymore :p.. But its nice to kinda just say i'm on HOLIDAY! hehe.. even if its a bit shortlived. I will be going to Asburton next week for ECC so thats something i'm not too keen on although i hope it will be fun and interesting to a certain extent. And the week after maybe a flat planned road trip to some parts of South Island!

I guess being a overly practical person has its downsides since i tend to look at reality as it is! So i tend not too get overly excited or depressed :p.. And in a way that kinda says that i'm dull? Argh... not really wat i was wanting to be... hmmm... well hopefully this "dull" person will be able to have an interesting holiday :p

Rejoice rejoice !

2005-06-17T22:35:00.000+12:00

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philipians 4:4

Yay! its finally the real holidays! hehe ... I'm just glad to be free from classes and exams alike hehe... nothing beats doing nothing? :p

2005-06-16T23:38:00.000+12:00

Hmm.. seems that i haven't had a proper post as of late .. i guess even if its post exams u would think i would be more free.. but i guess i just felt like doing nothing for a while to recover from doing too many things :p

Today was pretty interesting although awfully long.. i guess i haven't had a full 9am-5pm day that much this year n its really getting on my concentration coz i really can't "sustain" my interest when the day just doesn't seem to end! But on the positive side some stuff was pretty interesting ! Got to watch like about 4 pregnancy videos today.. it was pretty amazing, the process of having a baby n seeing its head popping out from the women's vagina! A bit unnerving i have to say coz i'm wondering if i want to go through all that , but i think considering the joy of having a child -- should be worth it right?

Tomorrow will be the last day n to be frank i'm pretty happy about it. I'm not so looking forward to the week to come but i guess being somewhere other than dunedin should prove to be at least more intersting hehe... I still find the weather not nice at all n i've resorted to bundling up really warmly n trekking through the hospital instead of going around it just coz its warmer heheh -- not that that short distance is much difference :p

Exams are over... classes are back

2005-06-15T22:34:00.000+12:00

Hello.. haven't bothered to update for a while.. i guess i've been feeling a bit slack.. didn't do too well in exam so i guess its not adding anything to my mood.. ... we got the answers the moment we handed in our papers sigh ... i still have full days of classes too 9am-5pm.. makes me feel kinda tired n very disinterested n what we're studying.. I'm just yearning to have some holidays! Arghhhh.. esp after exams....Oh well.. not too long to go... although it'll probably be another week before i get "true" holidays....

2005-06-12T18:14:00.000+12:00

0 days till exam...
strangely calm and yet i wonder when the reality is going to sink in...

2005-06-11T19:47:00.000+12:00

1 day till exam...
slightly anxious, a bit lost...
not that much more to go...
do your best leave the rest to God...

2005-06-10T18:38:00.000+12:00

2 days till exams....
restless... uneasy.... need to study but not sure what to study....
hoping for brighter days to come and more sunshine amidst cold frosty winter mornings...

2005-06-09T13:30:00.000+12:00

3 days till exam!
Heart rate: Increasing due to anxiety...
Mood: panic vs slack
Work output: nil - very low...
Solution: eat more chocolate and study more !

2005-06-08T18:50:00.000+12:00

4 days till exam....!! EEEKk....
Anyway i guess i won't be updating all that much so yeah......
Hope I survive.... :p

Holiday yet no holiday...

2005-06-06T18:39:00.000+12:00

Hi ! Today is Queen's b-day so we all got the day off but sad to say can't really enjoy myself.. with all the upcoming exams and stuff i'm forced to try to study.. :p.. can't say i'm progressing too well but i guess i can't stop trying now.. or else i'll be doomed come exam day ... Been studying about some drugs n stuff.. man so complicated.. how is it that for any drug they have to be so many trade names? hmm.. n then so many side effects n contraindications and what not! Argh i think i need some antidepressants and anxiolytics (anti-anxiety drugs) too !

"... In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

^_^

2005-06-06T18:38:00.000+12:00

Sunday..

2005-06-06T18:36:00.000+12:00

Hello! Just 2 pics taken on sat n sun.. u can really tell the diff in weather.. since saturday was so foggy n cold while sunday turned out much better although the temperatures are still beneath 10 degrees brrrr...

What God Hath Promised

2005-06-04T19:38:00.000+12:00

God hath not promised
Skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways
All our lives through;
God hath not promised
Sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow,
Peace without pain.

But God hath promised
Strength for the day,
Rest for the labor,
Light for the way,
Grace for the trials,
Help from above,
Unfailing sympathy,
Undying love.

-- Annie Johnson Flint

FreeZing....

2005-06-04T19:31:00.000+12:00

Waaa... today is soooo cold..don't wanna leave my flat at all... this is a good sign that winter is finally here-- not good! Haven't done much today just trying to do a bit of study but ended up taking a nap sometime in the afternoon :p... hehe...

Wahhh... the week is gone , already?

2005-06-03T18:46:00.000+12:00

Mmm.. the week sure has flown by real fast.. :p.. By the way it snowed this morning !! I woke up freezing cold n looked out of the window n thought wow!! Its snowing.. heaps of snowflakes drifting by at high speed! Got my self changed, ready n left like 30 mins later.. just to find that it was still snowing!! But by then my "wow!" had become "oh no!" i have to walk in the freezing wind n snow to tutorial!! Not a good prospect... but anyway.. that was me armed with my umbrella nicely bundled up at 8.50am hehe -- forgot my gloves though so i had really really frozen fingers.... it felt so numb like i had stuck my hand in the freezer n left it there overnight :p

Anyway had a lot of lectures concerning reproduction lately..coz we're doing a reproduction, development and aging module. Managed to see the in vitro fertilisation part where they remove some sperm -- like it was just sucked up by a tube tail first!! and then injected into an egg which looked kinda squashed as they tried to poke it.. :p.. yeah.. n heaps of slides on sperm like telling us how to distinguish a good count, morphology(shape of its head :p) and motility(speed) -- kinda resembles heaps of tadpoles just swimming around... hehe -- quite interesting ...

Anatomy overload O.o

2005-06-01T23:06:00.000+12:00

Had heaps of anatomy today.. like 2 labs this morning totalling 4 hours.. -_- .. had a real bad headache this afternoon too.... donno if its due to the kinda boring health economics lecture or maybe the over stuffy lecture theatre.. mmm.. felt kinda crap... although it seems for me a lot of things seemed to be cured by food :p.. after a happy meal.. i feel much better !

1st hurdle over... more to come!

2005-05-31T21:36:00.000+12:00

Helo.... i'm here post-anatomy exam feels better to have it off my shoulders... but man i just feel tired........ kinda worn out somehow.... sigh... i didn't do a late night or anything..but i did managed to finish almost an entire block of Whittakers Almond Gold.. in the process of preparing.. i hope that doesn't add on to my waistline anytime soon :p

Nothing much i guess just so much anatomy these days... had anatomy lab after the test n then having 2 more labs tomolo n 1 more the day after! O.o i feel kinda appalled just thinking about it... especially since its all related to sexual organ anatomy ..'cough cough'.... so yeah... i don't really feel very inclined to touch the prosections too much :p

The quiet before the storm...

2005-05-29T20:53:00.000+12:00

Anatomy test is just a day away! mmm...... scary.... its the need to study coupled with the desire to just fool around.. sigh... its really bad to be feeling any sort of complacency at this period in time... I need a motivation booster!!

"Trust in the Lord with you heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make you paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

$aTurd@y

2005-05-28T23:45:00.000+12:00

Today is Saturday! The weekend at last.. can say i'm grateful but also can say i'm tired n i donno what i did with it.. my Sat is almost gone n i donno what productive thing i've done... arghhh... sometimes i'm too complacent for my own good ... Weekends tend to have the effect of killing most of my will to study n etc... plus i guess i'm kinda picky when studying.. need to be quiet n alone with everything at my fingertips..so i don't waste time hunting for notes or sthg .. sigh.....

but today Homegroup was fun.. hehe ... it was Ming's birthday n we had heaps of games n stuff.. mmmm... Its nice to just see everyone getting together n mingling n having fun :) although some of the things people do are a bit outrageous -- like tossing a person in the air? i'm glad i'm not the one being flipped :p

So yeah just praying for more concentration n motivation! And also a verse i read a couple of days back:

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." James 1:5-6

Just reminded me of the need to trust n expect an answer when i pray coz God will answer!! Its just sometimes we forget about it or don't really care ..... And yeah i realised i have an answered prayer too :P didn't realise it was answered until i took a good look n thought oh yeah, it happened already........ hehehe

Approaching test times :(

2005-05-25T18:56:00.000+12:00

Yes.. its that time of the year again when suddenly all the tests start piling up on u ! Argh..... i have mid years in like 2 weeks +, anatomy next week and the usual 2 computer tests !!! How is it everything seems to pile on when u r busy but when u r free it just seems to free? Anyway due to my kinda lack of motivation to study n constant procrastination, I found this verse pretty inspiring :

"Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after i have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:26-27

:) hehe I know its a bit out of context since Paul was talking more about running the spiritual race but hey? It's like what i'm doing as well, i really need to get some focus and "beat my body and make it my slave" so that i won't be so lazy --- practice more self control n all :p It's kinda like saying u got to take control, get your act together and focus on what ur doing! So yeah ! Ganbatte!!

8am lecture ...zZZZZ

2005-05-24T18:44:00.000+12:00

Hello again... ! Today was ok .. had an 8 o'clock lecture today O.o It was sooooo early.. when i woke up.. it was still pitch black outside which was kinda freaky and made me wanna stay in bed all the more.. :p... but managed to drag myself out (being the "good" student) n left the flat just in time to catch some lovely pink and red streaks across the horizon.. pity i wasn't around to see the sunrise...

Today was mainly about schizophrenia, had a break from 10am - 2pm.. though.. u would think that they would swap the 8am lectures for a bit later.. instead of having such a big gap.. sigh.. but thats the problem with streaming.....Managed to discover for some odd reason our phone can't call 0900 numbers hehe -- yes i know its a pretty useless bit of info unless u wanna call 0900...

We had out last lecture about appetative behaviours which were basically sexual behaviours n eating..... discovered the term "diet-induced obesity" hehe..coz it seems in US like a lot of kids have started dieting since around 9-10 years old n apparently most obese ppl have had some run in with dieting be4 .. put 2 and 2 together... obesity occurs due to the dieting as ppl tend to fluctuate from losing weight then gaining heaps back n losing again.. In the end the more u diet the better the body adapts at storing energy and therefore it stores more when u eat n thus u get fatter n fatter eventhough u eat less or the same amount --- interesting theory aye? hehe makes me think twice before considering dieting :p

2005-05-22T19:33:00.000+12:00

"The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace." Psalm 29:11

"Eye" Day!

2005-05-20T23:09:00.000+12:00

Yay ! its finally friday .. its the real thing too! Today had a bit of a late start at 11am.. but u know what? i kinda misread the timetable or sthg and assumed that i started at 10am and so woke up at 9+ and actually got all ready n walked like 20 steps from my flat be4 realising that something wasn't right n i actually checked my timetable... only to realise that i was 1 hour early >.< so decided to just go back :p --- mind u it was pretty cold and all so my flat seemed like a nice warm place.. since i was only a few seconds away :)

Had mainly an "eye" day..had like workshop on vision.. n was looking at bits of anatomy n blindness n looking inside an eye n stuff like that... One really funny slide our lecturer showed us was an eye of a person who had had eye surgery to replace the lens .. n the thing was u could see hte lens when u looked at the eye coz it had been mistakenly placed on the outside of the iris instead of behind it! So the person just wouldn't be able to see anything.. it was really funny sort off :P can't imagine wat the surgeon was thinking ... hehe.. When i think of it eye surgery is pretty delicate n quite scary since u gotta cut all properly n the eye is only that big ! mmmm donno how the surgeons can make all those neat little incisions to like cut out the cornea lift it up n take out the lens inside n then sew it back up again! its just miniscule!

After dinner watched part of Pacifier with my flatmates was kinda fun.. but had to leave half way coz of a meeting :'( which i arrived on time ! but only started like wat 1/2 - 3/4 of an hour late!!! Argghhhhhh Malaysian timing..

Anyway as always hoping for a relaxing weekend .. that doesn't pass by too fast so that i can actually know it happened and enjoy the rest coz my days are not getting any freer --- the downsides of med school.... ( as i'm sure Ruth is very much aware of :p)

Feels like FrIdAy already...

2005-05-19T20:20:00.000+12:00

Ahh... it really feels like friday sad to say its just a trick my mind is playing on me and its actually thursday :p Today had a really early 9am lecture on pharmacology.. have to say that my brain was a bit dead n it didn't help to be sitting near the front of the class argh.... wats with all the streptokinase, tPA, clopidogrel and neuroprotective factors.. n wat not... i can't really remember how everything works anymore... O.o

After that had a visit to Leslie Groves up at Wakari. Quite nice i'd say.. i liked it better then the last time we went there :) Mainly just meeting some patients and talking and doing a full cranial nerve examination .. ehhe.. Afternoon had a system's integration case.. which involved some aspiring med 3 student walking around with a flashlight meeting some hypoglycaemic person or sthg.. n yeah..doing a check on pupillary dilation reflexes! hehe.. .. wonder how many ppl carry a flashlight around...

The day was ok i guess just wished that today was friday though.. i think i start a bit later tomolo hehe.. so can get a bit more sleep mmmm......

WeDnEsdAy

2005-05-19T00:02:00.000+12:00

helo...
haven't been updating for a pretty long time n i know it.. i guesss sometimes just can't be bothered to log in and also the bad weather is really impinging on my internet!! It just goes down sometimes its just so annoying having to restart n do this n that arghhhh.... plus its been freezing cold..the flat is like a fridge.... but prob still warmer than outside .. :p n my room is my refuge.. mmmmm

haven't been studying much lately n just realized that i have an anatomy spot test in like 2 weeks n mid years in like 1mth... :-S ... i donno how i'm gonna survive.. esp with all the little computer tests laced in between....... mmmmmm... i really need to get serious about studying... and B&B 5 test this week looks real tough...

Oh well... things life just doesn't get any easier....